Good Luck: Waiting For Marriage
Here we are at the end of March. When I think of March I think of four leaf clovers, leprechauns, and a pot of gold at the end of a rainbow. It is also my birthday month! Ever since I was a kid the month of March has always been associated with good luck. However, when you hear people tell you “good luck” in person, they tend to mean it in a sarcastic way. When Steve Harvey told his boss that he was quitting his job to follow his dream of being a professional comedian his boss told him “good luck”. In the same way, there are countless stories of successful people both famous and not famous who were told that their expectations were too high and that they would fail. They were told the infamous “good luck”.
Well, when I was around 19 or 20 years old I was told “good luck” at a small gathering with family and friends. We were just chatting at someones apartment around the holidays. I don’t know how we got on the topic but we were talking about sex and I said I wanted to wait until marriage to have sex. Then the woman who called herself a minister laughed and said “good luck”. I thought I would at least have her support, but then it hit me that even some Christians believe it’s impossible to wait for marriage nowadays. So now over five years later that moment of her saying “good luck” to me still plays in my mind. At 26 I can confidently say that waiting until marriage to have sex isn’t about luck at all. It just takes a made up mind. And when your mind changes your lifestyle and habits change too. If you have been told “good luck” or if you have doubt that waiting for marriage is a possibility for you, then I hope this blog will help lead you in the right direction. So please continue to read as we scratch the surface of waiting until marriage.
It Takes A Good Why
In order to stick with any commitment you need a good why. You need a full understanding of why you are deciding to wait. In church from a very early age we are encouraged to wait until marriage. I don’t know about you but I can be pretty rebellious at times. In order for me to commitment to something I need it to make sense to me. Even at my job if they tell me to do something that is not productive and doesn’t make sense then I will question them. So when it comes to deciding to wait don’t just take peoples word for it. You need to go to the source which is the Bible and research why God wants His children to wait until marriage. There are plenty of reasons in scripture, but ultimately it is to help us not hurt us. You can also pray to God and ask for more understanding on this topic. As I started to pray and research, I began to develop my own personal why and that why comes to the front of my mind whenever I am faced with temptation. The more understanding you get, the more you can come into agreement with God. Changing your way of thinking to agree with God’s way of thinking is the hardest part. Once you finally agree with God then that is the first step. Trust me I know it can be hard to agree with God on this. I’ve slipped up before and that is because I didn’t agree with God on this topic for many years. It really wasn’t until a few years ago that I finally understood the full benefits of waiting until marriage and now I have developed a strong why that is immovable.
It Takes A Firm NO
Now that you have your why, you need a firm NO. As I said before temptation will come. When temptation does present itself you need a plan. And the plan is simple, just say NO. Having a firm NO means NO EXCEPTIONS! You have to have a made up mind that you are not going to compromise your standards. Every time I messed up before it was because I didn’t have a made up mind. My rules would change based on the guy. Ladies you know how it is. If the guy was cute enough, nice enough, well spoken enough, or financially well off then I could see myself reasoning in my head why I should make an exception for him. If you are going to wait successfully then your NO needs to be firm. No matter how handsome a guy is or even if he is your boyfriend and you think your gonna be together forever, you need to say NO because you are waiting until marriage. The truth is you never know who you are going to marry until after you are married. Plenty of people plan to get married and they never do. I’ve done it before. Plan the wedding in your head and named the children only to have your heart broken. You don’t want to take that risk. Also avoid situations that could cause you to fall all together. Know the areas where you are weak and if the person you are talking to does not agree with waiting then you need to cut it off before things get too deep. How can two people walk together unless they agree? And you don’t want a person who agrees to wait until marriage just for you. That is too much pressure! It’s important that the person you are dating or courting is practicing the wait because they have done their research in the bible and they finally agree with God too.
Connecting With Like Minded People
Last but not least it is important to connect with like minded people. Connecting with other people who are waiting or have waited has helped me so much! It is hard to wait when the music that you listen to, the shows on TV, and the people that are closest to you are encouraging you not to wait. I was about two years in when DeVon Franklin and Meagan Good came out with their book The Wait. I bought the book immediately and I was so happy to find people who thought like me. To find people who wanted the same things I wanted. It was the first time I heard anything about waiting until marriage in the mainstream media. I was so intrigued that I looked at all their interviews on YouTube and that is when I discovered that there was a whole Christian community on YouTube that I didn’t know about. That was because I only ever looked at hair and makeup tutorials (which did come in handy lol). When I saw that there were plenty of videos about godly relationships and waiting until marriage, my heart was filled with joy. I found Heather Lindsey, Ashley Empowers, Anointed Fire, Worth The Wait, One Church LA, and so many more. I especially like the “Dating with Purpose” series on Ashley Empowers YouTube channel. She interviews couples from all different ethnic backgrounds and ages about their journey of pursuing a godly relationship together. Every minister or YouTuber is not going to be received by everyone, however I have found some awesome people who speak to me in a way where I can understand and grow. Let God lead you to which YouTubers or online churches are right for you. Once again I must say that finding godly examples on YouTube has encouraged me so much. Also connect with people at your home church too because there should be like minded people there who you actually get to hang out with versus the online community.
Wrap Up :
I hope it is clear by now that if you are waiting until marriage that you are not alone. If you have already slipped up then it is never too late to start over. You can start over today if you want. Now when someone tells you “good luck” you can laugh on the inside because you know that you don’t need their luck. If you are a born again believer then you have something much more than luck. You have God, Jesus, and the Holy Spirit on your side. And boy are they a triple threat! I know waiting until marriage is a huge sacrifice and sometimes it may cause you to be single longer than you want because you are refusing to settle. Know that God sees your sacrifice. God will never make a fool of you when you obey Him. So ignore the skeptics. Just continue to do your thang. One day the promises that God has spoken into your heart will manifest before their eyes and all they will be able to say is “WoW.”
Please feel free to comment below about your journey in waiting or if you decided to start over today. Or Just comment if you liked the post 🙂 Also check out 10 Dos to Being Single and Content! Love You!!! Thank you so much for visiting my blog.